Bets Greer's blog

First the bitter: My dear friend Ven. Jigme called to say she wasn't going to do retreat, that she felt called to do service out in the world to deepen her practice. Bitter for me, because I quite liked the idea of being her next-door neighbor during retreat. Not that we'd get together for tea during retreat, of course, but just having a close friend with such a strong practice 400 feet away would be a strong support to my own practice.

And then the sweet: Jigme said that after talking with Geshe Michael and Lama Christie, who gave their approval, she was offering her partially built cabin to me! What a blessing! What a gift! And then the extraordinary news that the work remaining to be done to complete the cabin would be covered by the donations pledged to me for retreat.

The obstacles to retreat appear to be melting away in a seemingly miraculous show.

Here's Jigme in front of the cabin, earlier this summer:

The cabins look to be different sizes. Of course they are different in terms of the exterior dimensions, but the interior for each is 12'x12'.

This is the panoramic view from the door of the meditation cabin (gotta love Photoshop for stitching multiple photos together so seamlessly). The view is basically north to east, looking towards what I call 'ocotillo hill,' which will have briliant red blooms in the spring, on up to McCollough peak, which separates the retreat valley from the rest of Diamond Mountain land. There will be a wall from the sides of each cabin surrounding the garden area (scraped dirt now), creating a completely enclosed outdoor space, hopefully keeping the bear, deer, javelina, and coatamundi from the garden's bounty.

These next images show the progress Kevin and crew have made over the past month.

Now I'm standing at the northeast corner of the garden looking back towards the living cabin on the left and the meditation cabin on the right, with the rest of the retreat valley and the Chiracahua Mountains beyond to the southwest. The living cabin is wearing the first coat of stucco, and gorgeous door trims and windows installed. The meditation cabin will have french doors and a screened porch on the east side, and there will be a gate between the corners of the two cabins to completely enclose the garden area. The meditation cabin wasn't originally designed with a porch in mind, but to me, it's not negotiable. I'll need the protection of a screened porch to help keep the tiny flying critters from entering my meditation space. The overhang on the south side is 4 feet, so that will be the depth of the porch; just deep enough to squeeze in a chair. We have yet to figure out where the composting toilet structure will go. I'd like it to be situated so I can easily remove the composted matter out to the garden after the second year, but Kevin and I are still pondering the best location.

These next shots are of the interior of the living cabin.

This is the eastern wall of the cabin. The shower will be on the left, and then a counter running from there along to the south wall and wrapping under the south window, where the sink will be. The counter will serve as a desk by the shower, and there will likely be a small propane stove nestled in there somewhere.

This is a shot of the southeast corner. This tiny cabin has two doors - on the south and north sides - which are required by code. Quite frankly, I'll probably never use the south door.

This is the north wall, the door leading out to the garden area and the meditation cabin. This cabin has solar power, and a ceiling fan.

This odd photo is of the west wall, curving around to the north window. This wall will be nearly floor-to-ceiling, wall-to-wall shelving to hold all my food, supplies, clothing, etc., with a cutout for a small propane fridge. The big question here is how I'm going to reach to open the western windows, which are eight feet off the floor. The floor will be tile.

The meditation cabin is filled with doors, windows, and insulation right now, so I couldn't get any good pics. The interior is similar to the living cabin, except that it has two huge windows on the north and south (5' wide by 4' tall), and a french door on the east leading into the garden. Because of the depth of the bales, I'll be able to climb up into the deep ledge of those north and south windows and gaze out at the sky. During meditation breaks, of course. I wanted an earth floor, but counterintuitively, they're quite labor intensive to install, so wood it will be.

Kevin and crew are doing an amazing job on this cabin. They're over working on Karen's cabin now, where they've just finished painting the interior and installing the floors, windows, and doors. They're putting on the finishing stucco coat inbetween monsoon downpours. After a well-deserved break for a few weeks, they'll be back to work on this cabin. Bless 'em.  

Here's the smaller cabin I designed last night, along with the south elevation.

The windows are high for two reasons: 1) the delivery road to the Stumpfs' cabin is about 8 feet away on the south side, so I want to reduce exposure, and 2) I don't want to get distracted! (In retreat especially, the mind craves the distraction it's become accustomed to during normal everyday life. Anything I can do to keep myself focused on meditation, the better.) The windows are this high on all sides except the east side, which is right above the sink and isn't exposed to other cabins or roads. I'll use that window to grow sprouts, and resist temptation to watch the cardinals and bunnies.

I'll have those little 6" screened vents on the west and north sides, as well - I'll open and close them in concert with the windows depending on the wind direction to help with heating/cooling. Gyelse found a small profile propane heater, which I'll install on the west wall.

Where's the roof? Not sure yet if it will be gable or shed - but it should have a 3' overhang on the south side so that the sun doesn't touch the south wall for the months of July-October - the hottest times of the year.

I haven't written about my personal retreat plans for some time now, as I didn't know quite what to say. The strong determination to do retreat remained but up until two weeks ago, it was looking very unlikely that I'd be able to do it. My friends Mark and Oda had generously donated $500 for my site, but that's all the money I had.

My design for a strawbale cabin raised concerns with the DM planning committee as they thought it would require 'massive excavation,' which I'm not interested in. And then there was the 'little' issue of the lack of enough funds to carry out.

I turned my attention to creating an inexpensive proposal to turn the Ani Gompa - a three-bedroom double-wide trailer inside the Retreat Valley - into a two-person retreat space. That wasn't well-received as that space is intended for use by the caretakers as a staging area for food & goods delivery to the 50 retreatants.

To be honest, while I held out hope that a miracle could occur, I thought I didn't have the karma necessary to do retreat.

And then during a break at class two weeks ago, Lama Christie made an announcement that completely floored me. An anonymous donor had offered $10,000 for my retreat cabin - if it would be matched by other donors. I tell you, I nearly collapsed into a pool of gratitude on hearing her words. And then I listened in awe as person after person spoke out to offer money, the total of which ended up exceeding the challenge. $13,000 was pledged that night and in a matter of 5 minutes, the miracle occurred.

And the help keeps pouring in.

Ven. Jigme is a stalwart supporter of my being in retreat - she's always encouraging me and helping me think of different options.

Andrea offered to help me with planning and fundraising ideas, as she thinks I'm being overly optimistic that I can build a suitable place for $23,500. She's an incredibly well-organized, savvy planner, not to mention a master of putting worldview into practice. I can think of no better person to have in my corner.

Brian O'Flynn has offered to come help build. He's a skilled fine woodworker and builder, and recently built a lovely retreat cabin for Winston in Oregon. His support is invaluable!

Tassy has also offered to come and help build - bless her!

Ven. Gyelse walked to my retreat site with me last week, and with her keen eye found a spot that is relatively flat and much better positioned than the spot I had previously thought to build. She also strongly encouraged me to rethink an idea I had to build with earthbags. While this is an inexpensive way to go, it's very labor-intensive and slow-going.

Kevin walked the site with me the other day, and gave me a referral for another contractor as Kevin's retreat-building dance card is now full. He advised me on how to ask for bids, and suggested I get estimates for: 1) what the contractor could build complete for $23,000, 2) a shell for $23,000, 3) the design I previously created, and 4) a new much smaller design. He also suggested I rethink my idea to build with strawbale - while not as labor-intensive as earthbags, he was concerned that there isn't enough time to start one from scratch at this point.

So last night I created a design for a 221 sq. ft. cabin with a 10x6 screened porch and a 10x6 'vaulted privy' (composting toilet shed). If Kevin's rough estimate of $100/sq. ft. holds, this might be the one.

I met with Ray, a contractor from Tucson, this morning - he just completed Will Duncan's cabin and is starting on Bliss' tomorrow. He gave me some positive feedback about using super-insulated wood frame which can reach R-60 and provide good sound insulation. He thinks he and his crew can complete a cabin in 2-3 weeks! He doesn't do earth floors, so I'd still need to find help with that. I should hear back from him tonight with the estimates Kevin suggested I get.

And then I just heard from Amie the suggestion that using the basic design for creating soundproof walls could also serve for exterior wood walls, which is what folks do in Davis, CA.

Kat is working on a design for a small earth-based hut design, which may be what I could build in addition to the tiny cabin and where I could do my meditations.

There's a lot to do in a short amount of time - but things are looking so promising.

To all of you who've helped and offered help and expressed faith in support of me doing retreat - thank you with all of my heart for your incredible generosity!

Carie wrote in recently to share her good wishes for our retreat, and also said, "Hey, have you heard of Tsadra Foundation?" I hadn't, so went to check it out.

Wow! What an incredible group of people! Here's their mission:

Tsadra Foundation envisions a flourishing community of Western scholar-practitioners who are fully trained in the traditions of Tibetan Buddhism. Grounded in wisdom and compassion, these individuals actively enrich the world through their openness and excellence.

They provide grants, fellowships, and scholarships to qualified institutions and individuals committed to increasing compassion, knowledge, and wisdom within themselves and others through the in-depth practice and study of Tibetan Buddhism, focusing on contemplation, translation, publication, and higher education.

In their report for 2009, they list all the people they support in long retreat - many of whom have done multiple three-year retreats - as well as the dozens of translations, publications, and educational programs in monasteries they support.

www.tsadra.org

Makes my heart sing!

Thanks, Carie!

I've just spent the past couple of days doing research for Ahimsa Builders, the company Kevin Warren started to do construction at Diamond Mountain for the three-year retreat.

Arizona doesn't make it particularly easy to ascertain exactly what a construction company has to do to comply with various rules and regulations (which are numerous!). But thanks to the kindness of Doug Veenhof (contractor) and Nicole Davis (bookkeeper for Diamond Mountain Construction), I'm very close to being fully set up to support Ahimsa with bookeeping and reporting. They each took time out of their extremely busy schedules building at DM to answer my myriad questions and offer their wise advices. I feel quite blessed to be part of a community of people who have "service" in the forefront of their thinking.

Kevin's coming to Diamond Mountain in early January, so there will soon be an increased flurry of activity happening on the land. Yay!

Ekan and I traveled up to Chino Valley yesterday to visit Garchen Institute - a remote retreat center perched on top of a hill to the east of town, with lovely 360 degree views of a vast area of land. It had snowed the day before, so there was a dusting of white powder.

We learned 8 people are starting a three-year retreat this coming February. I had hoped to tour some of their retreat cabins, but some were occupied by shorter-term retreatants so we couldn't go into the retreat area. The rest of the buildings - temple, office, stupa, dining house - are all well-designed, spacious, and take advantage of the incredible views. Thanks to Claire and Amy for greeting us and showing us around.

Here's a link to a picture of folks who just completed a three-year retreat there late last year: www.garchen.net

Sitting in a conference room in a motel in Tucson just about five years ago, I heard unexpected words that absolutely thrilled me.

It was already an exciting moment - nearly 200 people were gathered with Geshe Michael Roach and Lama Christie McNally at a Hogwarts’ Dinner of sorts, to share stories and gratitude and hopes about our time at Diamond Mountain University, which was commencing the following day. A good many of us were there to start six years of study and practice of the highest teachings - teachings designed to propel us to quickly realize our dreams of reaching a state of being where we could truly benefit others, remove suffering, and attain peace.

It was a dream come true, my finding Geshe Michael and Diamond Mountain. Without hesitation, I had left Seattle - the good life: a great job, the ‘perfect’ climate and environment of mountains and trees and ocean and rivers, exciting culture, a great apartment in a cool neighborhood - to be without a job and living in a trailer home in a tiny economically depressed town in the middle of the dry, hot, southeast Arizonan desert, and starting studies at a place that was barely more than a few scratches in the sand.

On the face of it, it seems crazy - but none of those extraordinary attributes of my life in the Emerald City could hold a candle to what was offered at Diamond Mountain. They became meaningless in the face of the potential to bring peace to the world. I had long-searched for a place that held this potential for me. I had found it, and that dinner was the eve of my journey to realize that potential. As my teacher was speaking, I couldn’t have imagined being any more excited.

And then, after he painted the picture of his vision for the next six years, he shared what would come after those years of study: he and Lama Christie were planning to do another three-year retreat, and they wanted us to join them.

I wish words existed to convey the emotion I felt and still feel when I recall that moment. Imagine the thing you desire that’s so high, so seemingly improbable, so rare and precious, that you barely give it voice, as doing so might bring it all crashing down in the mire of “that’s not how life is, sweetie,” and therefore all the less likely to come true. And here was my teacher, this extraordinary man, giving me the most precious gift I could imagine: the possibility of spending three years, three months, and three days in silence, with his guidance, protected from distraction - the playing field on which to explore my mind, smash the demons of self-centeredness, realize my true nature, and open my heart.