Born to hippie parents in 1978 California, I grew up without much reverence for organized religion. None of the “spirituality” of my parents’ community appeared to me to be authentic or even necessarily helping people to lead better lives. Deep down I was searching for a true spiritual life and a way to serve others. That began to come to me through my relationship with the natural world. It was ancient, authentic, pure, direct, loving and ruthless. Any glimmer of wisdom or spirituality I had came to me through the outdoors; in the forest, ocean, mountains, snow, rain, wind, sunshine. The elements became my temple, my teacher and the teaching. I was driven to both study and protect them. So I left home to study Environmental Science at the Evergreen State College, in Washington. It was in searching for the solutions to environmental problems that it became clear to me that there was a much larger problem at hand and that the answer was not in ecological study but in the transformation of the hearts and minds of individuals.
The larger problem was that, not only was the environment in peril, but humanity as a whole was deeply suffering. Although disillusioned by the efficacy of ecology, I was still convinced that science was a worthy path, so I decided to go into medicine. It seemed the most fundamental way to cure someone’s suffering. I could work with people on what I perceived to be the deepest and most basic level; their body. It was through medicine that I started to recognize important connections between mind and body and between the inner world and outer world. Insights were coming and hinting at the root causes of suffering, but they were continuously pointing me in the direction of spiritual pursuits rather than scientific. So although medicine gave me many gifts, in the end I found myself up against the same walls. The problem was much larger, and the field of study wasn’t adequately addressing the issue. Even if people were healthy they were still in pain. It wasn’t enough.
More and more I began to investigate different worldviews: what perspectives allowed people to make the decisions that they made in the world and in their lives. I became fascinated with people’s hearts and deepest beliefs. Instead of studying and trying to fix problems on a superficial level, I wanted to understand what was happening in someone’s heart that made it possible for them to behave in certain ways.
My interest in Asian medicine as well as my blossoming fascination with different belief systems led me to take a year off from school and travel throughout Southeast Asia. The trip, of course, changed my life and when I returned to school the next year my major became comparative religion and comparative social politics. Knowing that my passion would be Eastern Spirituality, I immersed myself in Christianity and Islam for a year, to gain some context for further religious study. I found them both to be profound and righteous paths. I gained great inspiration and perspective on the heart connection between all deep spiritual ways of life.
It was also because of my interest in Asian medicine that I had developed a rather serious Qi Gong practice. I thought I was doing it to become a better doctor. What I got was a profound spiritual practice that without words began to open my mind experientially to many Buddhist ideas. Because I wanted to study Qi Gong more seriously, I went to live and work at Land of Medicine Buddha, a Tibetan Buddhist healing retreat center in California for the summer of 2000. I stayed for a year and a half. No other study or work could compare with the education I was receiving there. It was there that I found Geshe Michael Roach’s teachings, and I have been studying with him ever since.
I finally found what I was looking for. I finally had a way to be of ultimate service to the world.
