When I first heard that Holy Geshe Michael had gone into retreat, I was very interested in doing it. When He came out, I told Him I wanted to do it. He laughed and said He was very surprised, that He thought no one would want to do it, after what they had been through.
I have to say, honestly, I don't like retreat! I have lots of issues in month long retreats. It's very hard for me! I'm not off in la la land, and think it's going to be some sort of vacation. It's going to be very very tough. But I feel there are no other options for me, if I want to reach my spiritual goals in this life. I get too caught up in this daily life I live. I don't focus enough on my practice. I get drawn into food, and movies, and wasted talk. Unfortunatley, I have to do the extreme and force myself into a cabin and burn it into my brain, that every action I do, must be for others!
I'm going to have a really hard time leaving my family and the life I've built for myself in Los Angeles. The hardest thing to leave is my best friend, my kitty cat, Bodhi. He is the one who greets me when I get home everyday. He's the one who says "Good night" to me before I go to bed. He's the only other person :) I've done a month long retreat with. He meditated with me. And that will be very hard to leave him.
A little about me: I am from Colorado. I moved out to Los Angeles to pursue acting.
I'm also a screenplay writer as well. I went to college at University of Southern California. I work for an airline right now, do accouting work, and promotional modeling. I got into Buddhism in 2000. I went to hear Holy Geshe Michael teach the Heart Sutra in Northern California. I was Christian before, and really didn't want anything to do with Buddhism. But my parents had become Buddhist, and invited me to the teachings. So I went, and I was blown away. And after the teachings, I went full stream ahead to complete the open teachings before my Teacher came out of His 3 Year, to teach the advanced teachings. I also teach. And have been on a push to teach all of the 18 open ACI courses, which consist of 10 classes, before going into 3 year myself. This is what my Holy lama did. And so I'm trying to amass the merit to stay in 3 year.
Anyway, most of the retreaters are financially, we don't have very much money. So any donations, are very much appreciated. I would hate to see that the reason someone is not able to do a retreat, is because of lack of funds. If they have the intention, which is so hard to cultivate, please don't let it be that the reason they can't do it, is because of money. I want to do this retreat not only for me, but for everyone else. I know I can be the angel I dream about, if I work hard enough, and by the grace of my Holy Holy Teacher. So I have no choice but to do 3 year retreat!
